gravity

the weight of it-
pushing down, down,
down upon me
farther into the ground
into myself-
the weight of it
of him pressing into me,
his hip into my thigh
his face against my neck
his hands moving,
moving - ever moving
up, over, around, under
and back again,
no terrain left unexplored-
the weight of it
as I told myself this was what I wanted
this was what I wanted
this is what I wanted...
until it all trailed off
and I waited
and he groped,
and groaned,
and murmured feigned "I love you"s
in the dark
with the dirt caught in my hair-
the weight of it
as I lied that I enjoyed it
and lied that we'd only been talking
and lay awake alone
freshly scrubbed and scented
awaiting-
fearing dawn.