Gravitas

17 years
and 1 day ago,
it was warm that day,
and then breeze was cool
it pushed us forward
guided us on
to the place
most of us had never been
and I have only seen once since,
up the hill
where the grass was lush and green
and my toes slid forward in my shoes
pinched together,
and the skirt my mother picked for me
made me look 16
and 60
simultaneously
and I stood with the others
red-nosed, puffy eyed
strangers
Uncle so and so
Aunt what's her name
Vicky, the bitch
and we waited for him to stop speaking
his words barely registering
white, holy noise.
Then he was silent
and we were silent
and all was silent except for the birds.
And we left you there.

Natasha

She lives there
with everyone else
too close to touch
the girl who's name means
Christmas,
who's husband conquered Kings,
and she lives there,
in the story
rewritten, and edited for time
and content
and conceivability.
She lives there,
where I cannot reach her,
and her blonde hair
is always perfect
and hides the scar
she never got
in the better version-
the lie
where she lives there,
and not there,
with everyone else
too close to touch.
My head is full of them
and her.
She lives there.