Sooner or Later

I sometimes wonder
if the things I know
will ever prove useful outside the trivia game inside my head
if knowing how many brothers you have
will somehow be viable information
and if imagining a bond between us
one that ties us together
will ever be anything other than
something I keep hanging myself with.

I wonder if there will ever be a reason
for you to look at me
that way I wish someone would
that you could
because you're kind
and gentle
and all the things I need.

I wonder if there will ever be a time
when our paths not crossing
won't irk me
if I will ever give up
the imagined brunches
shared laughs
ragged nerves made smooth
by your quiet compassion.

I wonder if you will ever read the letter
the one I sent the only way I could
when the world stopped
and your city
that was once my city
our city
went into hibernation
and we wondered
separately
if we wold both be around
to see it wake up.

I wonder a lot of things
on days like today
when I am safe at home
and the air is gray
and cold.

I wonder how you are.
I hope you are well.