amity

I love you.
You have to know that.
I'm not good at hiding things.
You have to have seen it.
You can't possibly be that stupid.
No one is that stupid.
Well - some people are.
But not you.
I couldn't love you if you were.
Perhaps I could
and even would.
But you would be different somehow
and the part of you that demands that I love you
would be diminished
less strong
easier to ignore.

You do not love me
not beyond the casual fondness
that you have for so many people.
Apart from a smile,
a wink
an inside joke that I am thrilled to share with you
there is no other affection.
Somehow though,
and perhaps against my better judgement-
I still love you for it.
That you stay where you are
with her
there
where you should be
away from me
makes me adore you all the more.

Infatuation is a thing so difficult for a person such as me to understand.